Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
