I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
