Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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