It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
