They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
