he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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