Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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