This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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