You're my little dorito
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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