um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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