I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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