That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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