So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
