you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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