Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
