i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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