youre lurking in front of me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
