Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
