i barfeds in our rink
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
