plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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