dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
