no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
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The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize