you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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