I think my vagina is haunted
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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