Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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