Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm at about main and main street
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize