great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
