these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize