I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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