You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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