fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
