So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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