Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
