Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
