And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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