He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
