you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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