she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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