I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize