I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
