Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
