took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
