Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Your dad touched me again.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
