Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
