Nicole vs. Life
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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