I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
are you so shy because you have an std?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
