i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
