I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
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I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
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Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
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