I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
