Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
