I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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