I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
