I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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