you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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