I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
