Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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