you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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