Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
