just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize