Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
