I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize