Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
