Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
