Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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